Well... These days...i totally realise that I had lost the one thing that had been my most powerful factor... which is... confidence... its...100% lost...seriously... I realised this from the moment i stepped into a interview that concerns about a course that I wanted but.... when i was talking... i got lost... all of a sudden...i got lost!.. as in mind cleanse... brain-washed... BAM.. White fog in my mind... this is the first time after many years i felt this way.... wow...I was devastated... I kept answering wrongly... talking stupidly.. no control... In the end, I just walked straight out and all the way back... didn't talk much to the rest that are either waiting to be next or those waiting for friends... really felt totally fucked up... Darn...

I really didn't felt like getting out of my house that day.... canceled everything and only went out because my parents pulled me out for dinner... Darn i hate this feeling

How such things happen? i have no idea.. really felt like shit... ARHH!!! but what can I really do?
i don't feel like i could do anything right from that point... felt like i like got crushed deep down by the fast motions of the average Singaporean life. if only my brains can be faster or my looks get better, i still could get through in this mess but i really don't know what i should do/try/buy/spend/throw away/forget/learn/get/etc...

Cant really cheer myself up these days...even talk like a English bastard to try and improve my English..lol... but it makes me feel real sick...

By the way, I also decided to keep a few things on the list to prepare for my next semester.

So...

1. NO GAMING!
I realised that I played games everyday now ...regardless of weekends or weekdays... i guess this is one of the most important factors.

2. DO ALL TUTORIAL/ASSIGNMENT!
I never did do much of those that didn't count for my overall module points so i missed out on much learning factors...

3. JOKE LESS.
I joke around too much. Doesn't makes me funny anyway so I'll just throw those skills away.

4. TAKE MORE NOTES ON APPEARANCE
Mainly for stuff that cant be changed much such as face(pimples), Eyes (specs), items of common use (Wallet, bag and handphone).

Yea..that's it for now... but I'll do more along the way.

"To change fate that is casted upon us, Words should be set aside and Actions to be done"

{ 3:39 PM }
let's fly across the blue sky