this few days i really dont know whats right and whats wrong anymore...everything i do this days doesnt seems to work....everything lacks of spirt and soul being placed in...countless times i hurt you, over and over again....till this point that you have been very strong to withstand all nonsense i made.... everything i say and do, i know it hurts.... all my bad points seems to grow into giants while all good points that i ever had became ants...what got into me....i dont know....i dont know what i want anymore....i know you like the old me...that one that showers concern and love to you every single time i meet you....i just dont understand how i become so bastard...treating you like shit....i really dont know why...you are right...i am scared of things around me...i know that i have no right to treat you so bad...i really dont know...i know that i cannot place my sadness into you, i know that you are going though huge stress... i had seen you being scolded for wearing the neckence i gave you...i have seen you being scolded for geting too close with me yet i did nothing....i feel like a small mouse, hideing in the shadows, only being able to look at you from afar, yet powerless to do anything...i know the moment i rise fomr the shadows, even bigger problems will surface, having you in such cases i really dont know what to do, being that i want you yet i really dont know what to do....i need to learn how to treat you better, i need to continue seeing that bright smile to move on in my life...i need to feel yet control my feelings for you so that you will not get hurted anymore...i understand the things for me to do.....i need to take that big step ...i know i cant afford to lose you....but till i dont understand...what the hell is wrong with me....you dont sense my heart...i can't feel it too...it seems that i had lost all confinence to move...i know that this might take alot from you but i need your surpport...i know you had been giving me lots of it but i need more....i need an aim...a need a reason to live....i need to pass though this stupid brain of mine and srive... I KNOW I CAN DO IT!

{ 6:58 PM }
let's fly across the blue sky